


Almost

by buffymysavior



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: 5+1, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 05:27:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17298635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buffymysavior/pseuds/buffymysavior
Summary: Five times TJ almost confessed his feelings for Cyrus and the one time he did.





	Almost

The first time TJ almost confessed his feelings for Cyrus was when they were sitting on the swings.

For a while, it had just been TJ sitting there, barely swaying in his swing. He’d had a particularly bad day at school and had come to the swings to cheer up like he and Cyrus always did. But Cyrus wasn’t here—it was just him today, alone and frustrated with the horrible day he’d had.

In retrospect, it hadn’t been just one or two things that had made his day go from good to bad. Bad things had happened wherever he’d went. He’d overslept and his alarm hadn’t gone off, so he’d been late to school, his teacher had made him write out a math equation on the board (which he’d _completely_ messed up in front of the whole class), he’d forgotten his lunch money, _and_ he’d tripped on his way to his locker, not to mention that he’d had a pop quiz in English he hadn’t been prepared for. The whole day had been a complete and utter wreck.

So TJ sat in the swing, digging his toe in the dirt and staring at the ground. Even though he’d come to the swings to cheer up, he wasn’t feeling it. All he felt was the frustration and disappointment with the day he’d had, consuming his chest like it’d been sunk in quicksand.

It was quiet for a while, the only sound around him being the scrape of his shoe against the ground, until he heard someone clear their throat. He glanced up to see Cyrus standing there, eyes squinting in question and hands clasped. Immediately, he stopped swinging (not that he really had been in the first place) and tried to think of something to say.

Luckily, he didn’t have to. “Mind if I sit?” Cyrus asked, gesturing to the swing on his left. TJ shrugged, trying to look nonchalant about it even though he was silently pleading for Cyrus to sit down in his head.

“Go ahead,” he said. He knew he sounded surprised—because he _was_ surprised—but he really shouldn’t have been. They always found each other here when they needed to; it was like their secret spot or something. Still, TJ felt the need to ask him about it. “How’d you know I was here?”

Cyrus sat down in the swing next to him, lightly gripping the metal chains in his fists. “I just had a feeling,” he shrugged, his lips lifting into a half-smile of sorts. “When you didn’t meet me at The Spoon, I figured something was wrong.”

 _Great_ . Because this day hadn’t been _bad enough_ , he’d had to go and forget about his hang out with Cyrus. He clapped a hand to his face, rubbing his forehead in frustration. “I _can’t_ believe I forgot. I had to stay behind and finish my pop quiz and I _totally_ spaced.”

Cyrus shrugged again, the smile on his face still there. “Don’t worry, Teej. I didn’t come here for an apology. I mean, you didn’t really _apologize_ —” he teased, making TJ shoot him a look, “—but that’s not why I’m here. I came to see if you were okay.”

TJ was so grateful for Cyrus Goodman in that moment that it was a wonder he managed to keep himself from kissing him right then and there. He looked away, because he knew if he didn’t, Cyrus would see him blushing. “I’m fine, Cy. I just had a rough day. It’s no big deal.”

The other boy shifted in his swing. “Do you want to talk about it?” he offered. “The great thing about having four therapists for parents is that I’m a _really_ good listener.”

The comment made TJ laugh, and he could practically feel his bad mood melt away. “It’s stupid, trust me,” he said, but Cyrus plored at him with big brown eyes, so he continued. “Just little stuff, I guess. Mr. Coleman made me put a math problem on the board and I _totally_ did it wrong. And then we had a quiz in English I really wasn’t prepared for and I couldn’t even study because I left my notes at home. _Plus_ I tripped over someone’s backpack in the hallway and fell in front of everyone.”

“Oh, Buffy told me about that! She said she laughed for an hour afterwards.” TJ shot him a look. “Okay, not helping,” Cyrus said, leaning back in his swing. He seemed to think for a second before saying, “You know what I think?”

“What?” TJ said, just to humor him.

“ _I_ think this bad mood of yours is nothing that a basket of baby taters and a strawberry milkshake can’t fix,” he offered. “I promise it’ll cheer you up. My treat!”

TJ almost told him that he’d basically already cured his bad mood, that going to The Spoon with him like they’d planned would be the icing on the cake, but he didn’t. “You know what? You’re right,” he said, getting up from the swing. “Let’s go.”

As they both made their way to The Spoon, TJ realized it wasn’t the swings that made him feel better, but Cyrus. He thought about telling him this, but stopped himself short; telling him something like that would be too risky. Because _what if he didn’t like him back?_ So he pushed the thought away, along with the disappointment he felt of not being able to tell Cyrus how he felt.

* * *

The second time TJ almost confessed his feeling for Cyrus was at one of his many basketball games.

It was his first game of the season, and as confident as TJ tended to be about sports, he was getting kind of nervous. What if his parents didn’t show up again? What if he embarrassed himself out on the court and everyone made fun of him for it? What if he made the wrong play at the wrong time and cost his team the game? _What if, what if, what if?_

As the minutes passed, TJ’s worries only grew, every nerve in his stomach feeling like they were trying to claw him from the inside out.

Soon enough, the basketball team was heading out to the gym to get ready for the game. TJ did his routinely scan of the bleachers, looking to see if his parents had showed up (it was a rare occasion that either of them ever came, but he still found himself searching the gymnasium every time.) His stomach twisted when he realized they weren’t there; he’d hoped that they’d at least show up for his first game of the year, but clearly that wasn’t the case.

As he went to sit down with the team, he heard a voice call his name. It sounded loud and emphasized, like it was being spoken through a microphone. “TJ!”

He turned around, scanning each row of bleachers until he found someone surprising yet familiar in the third row. Cyrus was standing there, a megaphone in one hand and a giant sign in the other. Immediately, he felt the smile grow on his face, the sick feeling in his stomach disappearing.

Quickly, he ran over to meet him, heart pounding for more reason than the exercise. “What are you doing here?” he asked, a smile pulling at his lips.

“I’m here to cheer you on!” he explained. “It _is_ your first game of the season. I thought I’d come to give moral support.”

And not for the first time, TJ wondered just how he was able to restrain himself from kissing him. There was so much he wanted to tell him, but the words felt stuck in his throat. “I…,” he began, but his mind felt foggy and full of static. Eventually he settled on, “Thanks, Underdog.”

Cyrus beamed at the nickname, making TJ’s stomach flip (but not in the sickening way it had before.) “Of course! Now, go out there and win! I believe in you one-hundred and twenty percent.”

He shot him one last smile—heartbeat still roaring in his ears—before running back to his teammates, feeling one-hundred and twenty percent better than he had before he’d talked to Cyrus.

A few hours later, they won the game with Cyrus chanting TJ’s name in the megaphone just as he made the winning shot.

* * *

The third time TJ almost confessed his feelings for Cyrus was when he was studying for his math test.

Well, he’d really been struggling more than studying at first. His mind felt muddled every time he tried to do a math problem; each equation he read felt like it went through one ear and out the other. No matter what he tried, he just couldn’t retain the information.

The frustration was bubbling up in his chest like pouring water into a bottle of soap. He was tempted to just give up when someone pulled the chair out next to him and sat down. He almost snapped at whoever it was, about to tell them to sit somewhere else, when he realized it was Cyrus. Cyrus was always finding him nowadays, especially when he needed him most. “Hey, Teej, how’s it hanging?” he asked with a cheesy grin. The question almost made him laugh; he always found it endearing whenever Cyrus tried to act “swag.”

“Not great,” he admitted, grimacing as he set his pencil down. The paper he’d been writing on had been scrubbed clean so many times, the material was wearing thin. “I’m trying to study for Coleman’s test, but I’m not having much luck.”

Cyrus took the paper he’d been working on, sliding it in front of him. His eyebrows were hunched, teeth scraping his bottom lip as he thought. TJ looked away from the sight, his face burning red. “I can help you if you want,” he offered, a smile on his face.

“Really?” TJ asked dubiously. He knew Cyrus was good at math—definitely better than he’d ever be—but he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to help. Even Mr. Coleman hadn’t known how to help him with his learning disability, and he was a math teacher.

“Of course! Ever since I found out about your dyscalculia, I’ve been doing research on it to help you in case you ever needed it. I guess it came in handy after all,” he joked. TJ locked eyes with him; he’d really done all _that_ for _him_? “What’s wrong?” Cyrus asked, frowning.

TJ was pretty sure his mouth had stopped working. “Nothing,” he said after a moment, shaking his head and turning away. He wanted to say so much, but his brain wouldn’t cooperate, and besides, Cyrus probably didn’t even like him back, so there was probably no point in even trying. “So, uh, do you think you can show me how to do this problem?”

The confusion on Cyrus’s face morphed into a smile as he began showing TJ how to do the problem using the strategies and methods he’d learned online. TJ did his best to pay attention despite the fact that Cyrus was a huge distraction in himself, what with his arched eyebrows and bitten lip and puppy eyes.

The next day, TJ took the test. He got a C-plus, the best grade he’d received yet.

* * *

The fourth time TJ almost confessed his feelings for Cyrus was when he went ice skating with his friends.

Cyrus had invited him along with the rest of his friends, mainly so he wouldn’t third-wheel since Andi was with Walker and Jonah was with Buffy. The four of them were busy skating on the ice together, doing all kinds of figure-eights and spins and twirls while Cyrus was clinging to the rail, TJ standing beside him. “Are you sure you don’t want to skate?” TJ asked in amusement.

He had both his hands clutching the railing, a fearful look on his face. “I’m sure,” Cyrus said. “What if I hit my head on the ice and get amnesia and forget everything and—”

“Cyrus,” TJ said, laughing in amusement, “I _think_ you’ve been watching too many soap operas. None of that will happen, I promise.” In a burst of courage, he took Cyrus’s hands in his own, the fast beating of his heart making him feel unsteady. “Come on, I swear I won’t let you fall and forget all  your memories or something.”

The other boy smiled (albeit shakily, but it was a start.) “Okay. Just so you know, my life is now in your hands,” he teased.

Slowly, TJ dragged him across the ice, making sure to catch him every time he looked like he might fall. After a while, he was able to glide a few yards across the ice without so much as a stumble (with TJ’s help, of course.) “Look, I’m actually doing it!” he grinned.

TJ was still holding his hand to keep him balanced. “Good job, Underdog,” he grinned. “You want to try it by yourself now?” As much as he wanted to keep holding Cyrus’s hand, he wanted him to get good at skating without having to be so dependent on him.

“Okay…,” Cyrus said, slowly releasing his hand. (TJ didn’t let himself wonder about that, putting it up to being scared of skating by himself and nothing more.) “Here goes—”

Before he could get the words out, he was falling and crashing on the ice. “Cyrus!” TJ exclaimed, a rush of worry flooding him. What if Cyrus had been right? What if he _did_ get amnesia and forget everyone and then he wouldn’t know who TJ was and he’d lost his only chance to tell Cyrus how he felt?

But then Cyrus was wincing, then laughing as he said, “The good news is I don’t think I’ll need an ice pack.” He gestured to the ice below him, and TJ laughed in relief, grabbing Cyrus’s hands and pulling him back up.

“You’re okay, right? You don’t have amnesia or anything?” He was pretty sure he didn’t, but he still wanted to make sure.

“Surprisingly enough, I think I’m okay,” Cyrus said, smiling at the realization.

“You sure you don’t want to take a break or anything? We can sit out if you’re not feeling up for it.”

“Are you kidding? That was exhilarating! Except for the part where I fell, obviously,” Cyrus said. “But I should probably go back to holding onto you so I don’t fall again.”

TJ was sure he was blushing, and not just because of the frostiness of the ice surrounding them. “Oh, yeah. Totally,” he said, trying to act cool despite the racing of his heart. “I wouldn’t want you to fall. You know, again.” Cyrus gave him a playful eye roll as TJ took his hand again.

And if Cyrus realized he was holding onto TJ’s hand tighter than before, he didn’t let on.

* * *

The fifth time TJ almost confessed his feelings for Cyrus was when they had a sleepover at Cyrus’s house.

The sleepover had been pretty fun; they’d spent the whole night stuffing themselves with junk food, watching movies, and playing games. But since it was getting late and TJ had basketball practice the next morning, they started getting ready for bed after finishing their last movie.

TJ was half-asleep in Cyrus’s bed when he noticed it. A night light was plugged in on the wall beside him, lit up like a beacon and in the shape of a toy train. “You have a night light?” he teased, looking at Cyrus. The other boy opened his eyes at the question, eyebrows scrunched up (TJ could see his expression thanks to the night light.)

“Oh, not you, too! Andi and Buffy _already_ make fun of me for it whenever they come over.”

“I think it’s adorable,” TJ said. It took him a couple seconds to realize what he’d said, and when he did, he couldn’t even bring himself to look at Cyrus.

“That’s a first,” Cyrus joked, and TJ could hear the smile in his voice. For a second, he wondered if he should just tell him. It’d be so easy to now; both of them were half-asleep, and if it went south, he could just pretend it’d been a dream if Cyrus asked him about it. But by the time TJ formed the words in his head, Cyrus was lightly snoring beside him.

TJ sighed, taking one last look at him before closing his eyes, trying to think about anything but the boy next to him.

* * *

It was when they were watching the stars that TJ finally confessed his feelings for Cyrus.

There was supposed to be some sort of meteor shower that night, so Cyrus had invited him and the rest of his friends to watch the stars at his house.

It was well after midnight when TJ and Cyrus were laying out on a picnic blanket in Cyrus’s yard. The others had gotten too cold and headed inside, but they’d stayed put. TJ didn’t want Cyrus to miss the meteors—besides, there was no way he’d pass on an opportunity to spend time with Cyrus, so he’d stayed.

They were laying on their backs as they watched the stars, Cyrus pointing out his favorite constellations. “That’s the Ursa Major, also called the Big Dipper, and over there is Ursa Minor, which is the Little Dipper. Do you see it?” He was tracing the sky with his fingertip as if he was connecting the dots.

TJ squinted at the sky, shivering from the cold. “I think so. Is it right there?” He pointed up at a smattering of stars above him.

Cyrus shook his head. “Almost. Here, let me show you.” He intertwined his fingers with TJ’s, folding down all of his fingers except for his index (for pointing, TJ guessed, though he couldn’t really think about anything except for the fact that he was holding hands with Cyrus.) “See, there’s the Ursa Major,” he said, pointing to it with their locked hands, “and over here is the Ursa Minor. Now do you see it?”

“Yeah,” TJ said, but he wasn’t looking at the sky when he said it. He was looking at Cyrus.

“And over there is Sagittarius, see? It’s supposed to look like an archer.” He was still holding TJ’s hand, using it to point at all the constellations.

“Oh, yeah, I see it,” TJ said, even though he really didn’t. As Cyrus continued to point out constellations, TJ couldn’t help but think about how much he loved holding Cyrus’s hand, and how he never wanted it to stop. And then he thought about telling him how he felt, letting himself hope that maybe, _just maybe_ , Cyrus liked him back. Before he knew it, the three words he’d kept hidden for the past several weeks were spilling into his thoughts and out of his mouth: “I love you,” he practically blurted out. His voice was soft, barely audible over the breeze around them. For a second, he wasn’t sure if Cyrus had heard him, but then he’d looked over and met TJ’s gaze, and he knew he’d had.

“Did you just say what I think you said? You...you love me?” Cyrus asked, eyes widened with shock. It was hard to judge his expression; TJ wasn’t sure if his reaction was good or not, and he could feel his stomach knotting up with nerves.

“And you thought I was the oblivious one,” he joked, a nervous laugh escaping his lips. He could feel the fear rising in his chest, all the what if’s he’d thought over the past several weeks coming back to haunt him. He pulled his hand away from Cyrus’s, sitting up. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

“I love you, too,” Cyrus said. There was a huge smile on his face, bigger than any meteor that Cyrus could point out to him.

The words made TJ snap his head back; he was pretty sure his stomach was an entire field of butterflies right now. “You...you do?”

“Maybe we’re both the oblivious ones,” he laughed. TJ smiled, so hard it felt like a pinch in his cheeks. “So, are you going to kiss me or what?”

Before he could let himself overthink it, TJ leaned in towards him, taking his face in his hands and pressing his lips against Cyrus’s. His lips were softer and warmer than he’d expected them to be, the feeling something he couldn’t have conjured up even in the wildest of imaginations. Both of them were silent as they pulled away, mainly because TJ was trying to remember how to breathe. Out of the corner of his eye, TJ saw something shoot past them in the sky—the meteor shower had started.

“You’re missing the meteors,” TJ realized, tossing his head in the direction of the sky.

Cyrus shook his head, a big smile playing on his face. “Who cares about that when TJ Kippen loves me?”

TJ laughed, looking back at Cyrus—he preferred that view to the meteors, anyway. “Should we head back inside then? It’s a miracle neither of us have hypothermia yet,” he joked.

“Not yet. I want to stay here with you just a little longer,” Cyrus admitted.

So that’s what they did. TJ laid back down, fastening his hand with Cyrus’s as he did so. “Yeah,” he said, smiling at the other boy. He had the whole sky right above him, but he wanted to look at his whole world instead. “Me too.”


End file.
